Of Violins and Insanity

geneticallymaimed:

silver-strings-kadaj:

Kadaj had been told that he had every reason to hate the man before him. Despite being shot by him, the boy couldn’t see any reason. He didn’t hate Hojo, he wasn’t sure he could ever hate him. Most people, after hearing how he’d gotten that bullet scar, asked him outright “how can you forgive him?” It wasn’t a question of forgiveness. Kadaj fucked up, and as far as he was concerned, he deserved it, he asked for it, literally. How could he hate the man for doing something that was practically requested. As far as brutal honesty went, there wasn’t anything the elder could say to the boy that would completely and totally surprise him. Sometimes, though, hearing logic was much more powerful than trying to figure it out for himself. “Really? That’s something I always liked about you. I think, especially around the time we first met, I’ve been coddled to death, and I mean don’t get me wrong, I know it was all with good intent and caring and blah blah and I get that, but….there’s a point where you really just want to be treated normally. I get so insanely emotional that I feel like I need to be reeled back in, but it seems no one wants to tell me I’m being completely ridiculous because they’re afraid they’ll hurt me. Again, good intentions but it can only help so much. I need to hear that I’m being irrational. I realize it’s completely against your nature to comfort, but knowing that I’m being insane is comforting in it’s own right.”

Then again the scientist had never felt the need to curb his tongue for anyone. Honestly, thought that if he had it would be withheld something important. The harsher truth was better than nothing. Now, Hojo was saying that he was entirely truthful all of the time, he was simply stating that when someone asked something of him that there was a higher chance that he would tell the truth plainly. It would be dry and harsh. It had driven many away. “There are few that think that way. Lucrecia though that I was indeed mad in my own right, which I am. We all carry our own madness. Intentions? Many say that my choices are evil and I will not fight them, how they feel is up to them. However, without my choices many modern ideas would not exist. Medical theories would not be applied. However, none of my research was inherently good. Nor am I.”

Kadaj wished he could be more brutally honest like that. Although, he more or less got into enough trouble as it was for having practically no filter, which he was trying to work on, some days being more successful than other. He’d tell people off if he felt it was needed, but it usually took a long time of quiet observation, biting of his tongue and swallowing of his words before that happened. Hojo just told it like it was, no matter how harsh, which was refreshing. “Oh, there never was a doubt in my mind that you’re mad. We’re all crazy, people like us are just more honest about it.” He shrugged a little at the elder’s comment about intentions. “Well, regardless of intent, without you I also wouldn’t be here. Ethics and intent aren’t something that…I don’t want to say they don’t matter, but sometimes it takes some perceived evil things to ultimately make good happen, and sometimes the best intentions can…really, really fuck you over. Some of the most important lessons that I’ve learned have been from people that weren’t ‘good.’”